Progress

Doesn't this look waaaaaaaaaaaaay better????















Here's the office in its current state . . .clearly in need of help.




















On Friday, I spent a 1/2 hour on the files . . . sort of scanning what was where and what would go where. The files in the office were full of old stuff, some to save and some to toss.




















The most current files (which hadn't had anything added to them in months and all the papers that SHOULD have been filed were loose everywhere) were upstairs in the Rainbow room, because those file cabinets form the base of a desk in that room. But it is NOT the office . .








Today I used your advice, Sharon, and just sat with a trash can near by and picked/scanned/tossed/saved. Got two full drawers cleaned out. Found some good stuff. Brought the "active" files down from upstairs and installed them.






It really helped today to be able to talk with Amanda on the phone, and to check in with each other in 1/2 hour increments. I hope we can do that more often--especially when we are both working on something and the support is mutual.

whoopdedoo

I sorted the last box in the Kiwi room.

I think I'll tackle file cabinets next, because that will help future sorting, and it will also help me currently with bills, and also because the old files are from the beginning of my marriage and need to go.

Kiwi room

Amanda and I spent 2 hours in the Kiwi room . . . it's not done yet, but almost. I've got one more box of papers to sort . . .

I realize I'm still not processing EVERYthing, since there are clothes and shoes to go through, and bins of fabric. But actually I've gone through those within the past year, so they are relatively current. The biggest thing for me in this ButterFly project is the piles, etc, of Other Stuff, and that is what is almost done in the Kiwi Room

Yay.

Victory

I really don't have the words to say how great it feels to have dropped off two bags of stuff today. They had been up in the Kiwi room for a looooooooooooooooooooong time. One was a bag of Ed M's stuff, left here from last fall when he cut off our relationship. I had been thinking for all these months about whether to include one last item in the bag (returning something he had given me), but I was never at peace about my motivation. I kept praying. Finally felt at peace. Put bag of stuff in car. LIstened for leading on when to take bag to his place. Not even sure he lived in town anymore. Also haven't heard anything from him these last six months about the money he owes me.

Led to drive to his place today. His car was there. I heard noise in the apartment. I left the bag of stuff outside his door and drove away, feeling ever so free.

The other bag was some of larry's stuff I'd uncovered. What was holding me up was a notebook I found of his, with six months of notes he'd made,all full of prayer and remorse and how much he loved me and the kids, and how the messy feelings he had about his growing up, which he brought to the marriage, was the chief source of our marital problems.

I prayed long and hard about what, if anything, I should say to larry about the contents of this notebook. I told God I was willing to do whatever might lead to healing . . kept praying for a coupld months. Finally, yesterday, felt a peace and wrote a brief note and stuck it to the notebook. Left the bag at church and just emailed him that it was there.

Once again, feels like a HUGE step forward.

Two little grocery bags of stuff, but full of months of "The Past."

Plus, I just sorted one more box in the Kiwi room.

Yay me.

Yahoo

It's Friday and I just sorted two more boxes. Also started using some portable files I got at yardsales . .

Filled a trash can.

Did very well emotionally, coming across old cards. Divorce stuff.

I am really tickled at how I am feeling about this project. It still seems monumental to me. Sometimes I think of how many bites this elephant is going to turn into. But a little insistent voice tells me that every single box/shelf/whatever I sort, is just that: one more box, etc sorted.

I'm really proud of me.

Bite by Bite

Wednesday--no ButterFly work.

Thursday, one box sorted.

Inch by inch

Or maybe box by box. Woke this morning and was surprised to find myself eager to do more of the sorting, even though I knew that the next thing would be to tackle a box, and the boxes are where the emotional bombs have lurked.

I sorted one box today. Was about to tear into another, but got this nudge to finish off the first one--take the sorted piles to the rooms where they belonged, etc. By then, it was time to quit.

So far, I am just going into a room and starting with the wall to my right, and working my way around the room.

So I am currently in Room One, the Kiwi Room, and am on Wall NUmber Two . . .

Valentine's Day

Yesterday I made a pledge--a faint and timid one, but a pledge nonetheless--to make some sort of Start on my 3-month adventure.

And I did.








For 10 minutes--yessirree, ten whole minutes--I worked in my Kiwi Room, starting with the wall to the right.

Then I headed off to help teach a dance class.





Came home hours later, sweaty and tired. All I was gonna do was shower, relax, and go to bed.




Or so I thought. My sweet little body--motivated no doubt by that strong and persistent butterfly inside who'd waited farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr too long to see daylight--walked itself into the Kiwi Room and worked another 30 minutes.




The miracle to me is that I actually WANTED to be doing what I was doing. It felt like a gift to myself. Something I GOT to do, instead of HAD to do.












I'm on a roll, world . . .