Victory

I really don't have the words to say how great it feels to have dropped off two bags of stuff today. They had been up in the Kiwi room for a looooooooooooooooooooong time. One was a bag of Ed M's stuff, left here from last fall when he cut off our relationship. I had been thinking for all these months about whether to include one last item in the bag (returning something he had given me), but I was never at peace about my motivation. I kept praying. Finally felt at peace. Put bag of stuff in car. LIstened for leading on when to take bag to his place. Not even sure he lived in town anymore. Also haven't heard anything from him these last six months about the money he owes me.

Led to drive to his place today. His car was there. I heard noise in the apartment. I left the bag of stuff outside his door and drove away, feeling ever so free.

The other bag was some of larry's stuff I'd uncovered. What was holding me up was a notebook I found of his, with six months of notes he'd made,all full of prayer and remorse and how much he loved me and the kids, and how the messy feelings he had about his growing up, which he brought to the marriage, was the chief source of our marital problems.

I prayed long and hard about what, if anything, I should say to larry about the contents of this notebook. I told God I was willing to do whatever might lead to healing . . kept praying for a coupld months. Finally, yesterday, felt a peace and wrote a brief note and stuck it to the notebook. Left the bag at church and just emailed him that it was there.

Once again, feels like a HUGE step forward.

Two little grocery bags of stuff, but full of months of "The Past."

Plus, I just sorted one more box in the Kiwi room.

Yay me.